


Stand by Me

by Lady_Paper_Writerson



Series: Fragments of Bats [2]
Category: DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Medical Procedures, Past Drug Addiction, RHATO Annual #2, Roy is a sweetheart, post RHatO #25
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-24 19:34:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17710283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Paper_Writerson/pseuds/Lady_Paper_Writerson
Summary: Roy was there simply to help on a mission, and couldn't be happier about it; him and his friends, leaping into battle once more.It couldn't have crossed his mind that things would go down tothis...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of prequel to the first part. :) Setting up right after the events of RHATO #25, and before Roy's death.
> 
> Enjoy!

He had _not_ signed up for this. He fucking _hadn’t_.

Jason called, and what he basically said was something along the lines of ‘hey, come around, and we’re gonna have some fun’.

Jason never created expectations without eventually delivering. He’d promised a battle. There _was_ a battle. It was refreshing, to say the least. Kori was there too. He was beyond happy to be beside them once more. The new guys looked cool as well. Fun it was, indeed. Up until this point right there.

“Jay, I need you to keep your eyes open for as long as you can, alright?”

Jason was currently on the slightly lowered co-driver’s seat. He wouldn’t risk laying him in the back with no one beside him, in case he went into shock. His right eye was slowly swelling shut, and other than the blood staining his face and the skin of his chest, exactly where the bat symbol used to be, he was pale as ghost. His injured arm was dully hanging over his belly. Roy had removed the ruins of his helmet and offered first aid. The rest of the injuries had been outside his abilities to care for. He didn’t have any idea of the kind or the extend of the internal damage. This needed professional help, and he certainly couldn’t take him to any hospital or clinic in Gotham; they had to get out of that wretched city.

A broken, breathy whine made his eyes anxiously get off the street and return to his friend. “Jay? What is it, Jay?”

He watched as he blinked once more, as he fought drawing one more breath inside.

“… hurts”, his voice came in a hoarse, weak whisper, much like it might just fade away once more.

His gaze fell upon the hand shaped bruises around Jason’s neck, and something raw and dangerous boiled inside of him. He didn’t have the _time_ to think this through up until now. Every single part of his mind was focused on how to get Jason out and away. But now, the pained sound of his voice as they left the city lights behind them had just inflamed a wild wave of rage against the lunatic that had done this to him.

He hurried to drive it away once more. He had to try and figure out the next move as fast as possible. This -anger- wouldn’t help, neither the situation, nor his judgement.

“We’re getting there, Jaybird”, he promised, feeling his throat going painfully dry.

A lie, of course. He didn’t have any idea of where the hell was ‘there’… and he had the ugly feeling that Jason _also_ knew that.

Help. They needed help, and Kori wasn’t accessible -he’d already tried. Next person he could think of was Dick… but that wasn’t even an option. Dick’s view of the word ‘justice’ wouldn’t be much different than Batman’s. It would include Jason getting hospitalized while restrained, before he was prosecuted and most probably imprisoned in some horrid place ‘for his own good’ in order to ‘discipline’ him and ‘help him’. It was a sad and painful thing to think about, but it was probably true. And even if Dick didn’t share his mentor’s views this time, he might have been watched by him, his phone tracked down. He couldn’t take the risk.

None of his other friends of the Titans had ever been truly close to Jason, and they wouldn’t risk falling out of Batman’s favors just for him. Neither would Hal, of course.

He knew that Dinah was currently on a mission, and even if she’d been available, there wasn’t anything she could do, especially while she was in Star City… which left him with a single choice. The one he sought to avoid the most.

He briefly glanced at Jason, only to realize his eyelids were slowly drawing shut.

“Hey!” he snapped at him, keeping only one hand on the wheel as he stretched the other to lightly squeeze the back of Jason’s neck. “Eyes on me, Jay! Don’t you dare drift off, you understand?”

Jason was all blurry and exhausted, and almost pleading with those eyes. _Leave me be. Just leave me be._ “I can’t…”

“Try! Please, Jay, you need to…”

He tried to get his mind to pierce through the panic threatening to overwhelm him and make up something, anything, anything that could get him to keep his eyes open…

“Hey”, he suddenly spoke, trying to sound cheerful, as a flicker of creativity shined through his mind. “Do you remember the tale, that Tamaranean tale Kori was narrating that night in Australia, after we left the aquapark? Do you remember what it was about?”

Jason stirred a little, his eyes slightly opening a bit more, though that vacant expression still didn’t leave his face. “A boy”, he said then, quietly. “In the fields of purple grass…”

“Right. What was his name, again?”

“It was… Ry’zonn”.

“Yeah, that’s right, that’s right, Jay… and he wanted to be, what, a member of the King’s Guard?”

A faint smile on Jason’s lips. “An inter… intergalactic pilot… of a pirate ship… _outlaw_ … like… ourselves”.

Roy’s hands clenched on the wheel, as he felt his eyes stinging a little. “Yeah… just like us, buddy. And then he met that creature, right, the one that looked like some kind of big…”

“Roy…”

He turned to look at Jason once more, watch at the gargantuan effort he put up to weakly force out the words. “You’re… good friend”.

He felt a distressful numbness crawling over his fingers and then his spine, as his eyelids slowly fluttered shut.

“No-no-no, not now, please, not now, I… fuck!”

He drove the car at the side of the road and once they were out of motion, he swiftly leaned over Jason’s clearly unconscious form, taking his face into his hands as gently as he could, trying not to move his head too much. He checked his pulse and it seemed fine, but his breathing, it was so harsh, and forced, and unsteady…

He decided within a moment of desperation to simply take his last option -his _only_ option. He simply had to. Jason needed help he couldn’t provide on his own, as much as he wanted to. He needed a proper doctor. He _had_ to do this, for Jason’s sake.

He grabbed his spare cell from the backseat -he’d already tossed away his regular one in case someone could track him by it. Only five people had this particular number: Jason. Dick. Dinah. Hal.

And…

_“Where are you, Roy?”_

He frowned at the sudden answer on the line. As if he was _expecting_ him to call.

“Hey… Ollie, I…”

_“Batman’s looking for you. He says he wants his boy handed over, whatever the hell that means”._

“Oh, yeah?” he retorted angrily. “How ‘bout I hand over a punch to his face, instead?”

_“Are you safe?”_

Roy shook his head, eyes still on Jason, his free hand smoothing down his hair. “I…” he swallowed, more audibly than he intended to. “I need help”.

 _“You’re hurt?”_ Oliver’s voice asked abruptly, clearly on edge.

“No… not me. It’s Jason. He’s… bad, and I got nowhere to take him to. Ollie, I’m sorry, I… I don’t know what to do… _please_ ”.

He heard him huffing deeply, and pictured him pulling at his goatee, as he often did when nervous or uneasy. _“You’re still in Gotham?”_

“No, we got off the city…”

_“Go to Blüdhaven”._

“What! No, that’s crazy! It’s too close, and he…”

_“Roy. Trust me. Go to Blüdhaven. Second warehouse, section five, by the port. Once you get in there, you’ll find a small door in the back. Get him inside and wait”._

“Ollie…”

 _“Trust me”_ , he repeated louder, decisively.

Roy exhaled and rubbed his jaw. As hesitant as he was about this, he didn’t feel he had the energy to disagree. “Ok. Ok, I’ll go there”.

_“It’ll be alright, kid. I promise”._

He wanted to believe him. He _needed_ to.

He hung up and glanced at Jason one last time, making sure everything was as good as possible before he sat back and started the car once more.

“Hang in there, Jay”, he murmured. “Just hang in there, buddy”.

 

* * *

 

 

 

The ‘room’ at the back of the warehouse wasn’t much of a room, apparently. More like a studio apartment. A very spacious place with a high ceiling, small kitchen and bathroom. There were two couches, one of which proved to be a sofa-bed. He gently placed Jason there, before he started undressing him with careful hands, removing his jacket and all pieces of armor, gloves, belt and holsters, boots and socks, before he got to his shirt.

He tried to be extra cautious with that, since he’d figured by Jason’s groans earlier that his right arm must have been broken in at least one place. The marring on his torso wasn’t as bad as on his face, or as dangerous, but still, quite serious. Deep, dark bruises were spread over his right shoulder, the one that had been dislocated -he was able to take care of that, at least. Same as all along his right side, where he speculated there would definitely be more than two broken ribs. The gruesome, scarlet spot on his left pectoral flowered in the middle of a slowly darkening, purple lake of bruised skin.

He inhaled deeply, and briefly closed his eyes. He wondered if trusting Ollie in this had really been the right way to go. What exactly was supposed to be his next action? Jason needed a doctor far more than a place to crash. All _he_ was able to do was to take care of some certain things, such as putting the small heater he found as close to where Jason was as possible and turning it on, in an attempt to warm up that insufferably cold place. He then retrieved a small basin he’d found in the bathroom and small, clean towel. Once the basin was filled with water, he settled next to his friend and softly started to wipe the dried blood off of Jason’s face and chest, hoping the cool water would help in soothing those vicious marks.

Roy was almost done when a steady, rhythmic knocking sound reached his ears.

He instantly tensed, straightening his back. The sound was distant, it was coming from the front door of the warehouse.

He put the cloth back in the basin and rose on his feet with a last, gentle run of his fingers through Jason’s hair. As he hastily passed beside the table where he’d placed his quiver, he dragged with him a single arrow from inside of it. He didn’t really expect that freaking Batman would get there _knocking_ , but truth was, far too many things he’d _never_ expected tended to happen a lot those days.

He crossed the room, then the warehouse, and dragged the door open, slightly at first, just a crack, only to raise an eyebrow in surprise before hiding the arrow behind his back and opening a little further at the sight of the girl that stood outside.

“Um… are you alright? You got lost?” he asked baffled as his eyes looked around for possible threats, suspecting that someone might have been harassing her. He believed that the port of Blüdhaven was far from the best place to be around so late at night, especially for a lady.

“Oh, uh… no. Actually, **_you_** need help… right? Medic?” she raised her small medical case for him to see. “Mr. Queen sends me”.

He was left looking at her stunned for a few seconds before he finally came to his senses. “Oh! Ah, yeah, yeah, we… most definitely _do_ need that. Come on in”.

The girl nodded and followed him on the back, where Jason was still lying limp.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed once she laid eyes on his form. “He’s messed up! _Bad_! Beating?”

“Yeah”, Roy shifted nervously behind her, crossing arms over his chest. “Look, maybe it’s better for you to…”

“Is there a bathroom? I need to get my hands clean”.

“Sure, right there”, he waved at the direction.

Ollie _. Fucking Ollie_ , man. He askes for a doctor, and he sends there… what the hell, was this girl even an actual doctor? She seemed way too young to have graduated even.

Once she was back in the room, she didn’t even pay a single look at him. Simply grabbed her case and settled over Jason, opening it and drawing out a stethoscope.

“Let’s see”, she mumbled to herself as she placed the diaphragm over his chest.

Jason let out a soft whine, probably at the sudden coldness of the medical tool, and Roy instantly drew closer. His friend’s eyes remained closed, and no words came out. The discomfort came to him instinctively, apparently.

“Shhh…”, the girl cooed reassuringly, placing her free hand on his forehead, then stroking down his face with her knuckles, which seemed to gradually calm him down again as she continued.

“I think his breathing is kind of uneven”, he commented anxiously, his heart pounding harder.

She nodded affirmatively without stopping or looking at him, her thick eyebrows knitted. “Heart sounds perfectly fine. There’s no indication of anything wrong with his lungs either”. She raised her hands to his face, evidently keeping her touch as light as possible as she examined the area. He couldn’t help but notice how beautiful her hands were, almost graceful in movement as she worked, her nails cut short and clean. “Yeah, I’m pretty positive it’s his septum”, she sighed after a while. “There’s some damage. Nothing unfixable…”

She removed the stethoscope and took out a shiny black device with a square screen. It looked a lot like an iPad, only it was thinner, and much larger. She turned the device on and started selecting things on the screen.

“What’s that?”

“Digital scanner detector. It scans through the body and gives perfect, analytical image of one’s skeleton. Also warns about other possible internal damages. No X-Rays, no radiation whatsoever. Amazing stuff”.

“Since when do we have such a thing?” he asked, not bothering hiding how astonished he felt.

“It’s not out in the market just yet, it will take another year, I believe. Gotta love Wayne Medical. Their new equipment is out of this world”.

It was just then when Roy noticed the Wayne Enterprises logo at the back of the device. He grimaced a little, but didn’t further comment on it. What could he say, after all? It was impressive, to say the least. He focused on something else instead. “If it’s not out yet, how come you have one?”

There was a flicker of her eyes up on his own before she went back to the settings, a slighty rosy color now rising on her cheeks. “Let’s say I just… borrowed it”.

He wasn’t able to hold back a smirk. “Hmm. Borrowed, huh?”

She gave him a stealthy look. “Mr. Queen said he doesn’t know the extent of the damage, and that you’d probably need all the help you can get. I’ve brought _many_ things with me”.

“Are you going to get in trouble for this?”

“That depends. What time is it?”

“Oh, it’s… three thirty”.

She shrugged, seemingly cool with it. “If I get it back by eight, no one will notice”.

He watched over her shoulder as she held the device about one foot above Jason’s body to apparently start the scanning process. She begun from his head, slowly moving it downwards. Her eyes were fixed solely at the screen, as were his own, when a small beeping sound erupted. “Yep, definitely the septum. Notification for possible concussion. Any ear bleeding earlier?”

“No, nothing like that”.

She kept moving the device. Another sound. “Broken arm. Two points. Broken ribs… _four_ of them. All on his right side”. She finished up the scanning and put the device away, her look dropping on Jason’s leg. “Strained ankle, too. Let’s start with that”.

As soon as his ankle had been properly wrapped and lifted with the support of a pillow, she proceeded to take care of his ribs, and then his arm, applying plaster on it. She also cleaned the wound on his pec a little more thoroughly than he had, and added an adhesive gauze over it.

“You don’t have a problem with blood, do you?”

“Um… no? _Why?”_ he asked warily.

“’cause I’m opening your boy now”, she informed him, and he watched her taking out a sterilized set of surgical tools.

“Wait-wait-wait, **_what_**?” he exclaimed.

“I need to fix up his septum” she paused briefly as her gaze shot up at him. “It’s not exactly deviated, but in any case, he has to breathe right again. We can’t leave it like this”.

“He can’t have a freaking surgery in here, like this!” he protested. “This… this is a work to be done in a hospital, not…”

“I know. I know. Normally, I’d be one hundred percent with you, and if you want me to, I’m calling an ambulance right now, but when Mr. Queen called me, he was very clear about one specific thing: no hospitals, no witnesses. Isn’t that the case?”

He exhaled in despair, running his hands through his hair, realizing the dead-end in this, as she left Jason’s side and approached him.

“Look”, she stood in front of him, one hand lightly squeezing his arm. “I understand what it is I’m doing here. I’m asking you to trust me with your friend’s life… while you don’t even know me. I realize how this must feel like, but… I _know_ what I’m doing. Alright? It’s not a difficult operation. It’s actually one of the easiest. I was prepared to perform a whole lot more than that”.

Roy clenched his teeth, processing it. He really wanted to keep arguing about it, but… it was quite obvious that this wasn’t an option. If they checked in to a hospital, even if he used fake names, Batman would learn about it in probably less than an hour. And this girl… well… so far, she seemed to know her shit pretty damn well. And if Ollie trusted her…

“Fine”, he growled.

She nodded and returned to her stuff. “You can be here the entire time”, she indicated, as if there was any chance to leave the room during this, even to use the bathroom. “We’ll be at it for about an hour and a half, no more than that. I’ll just need you to wash your hands and put on gloves, and a mask. I might need some help. Do you know his blood type, perhaps?”

“AB-negative”, he answered with no hesitation.

“Alright. That’s a rare one. Are you absolutely sure? I can check with…”

“Yeah, I know it, alright? No need to check. God, he’ll need blood?”

“Probably not, but you can never know. We must be ready in case bleeding occurs”, she admitted, drawing out a brand-new syringe and a small vial with some kind of transparent substance in it. “Don’t worry, I’ve brought blood supplies with me”.

He felt impressed, yet admittedly suspicious at how prepared she was, and he wouldn’t hesitate to add a comment about it, if it hadn’t been for the faint, weak sound coming from the mattress.

“He’s coming to”, she said quietly, as she prepared the anesthesia. “What’s his name?”

“Jason”, he answered, approaching and settling beside him.

Jason slowly opened his good eye with a gasp, and the first thing he saw was probably her face above him. He weakly turned his head, probably looking for something more familiar. “Roy”, he whimpered painfully once his eye caught him.

“I’m here, Jaybird, everything’s fine”, he said warmly, carefully laying a hand on that part of Jason’s shoulder that wasn’t bruised and giving a light, comforting squeeze. “I know it hurts, but it’ll get better. Look at the lady, Jay. She’s a doctor, she’s helping you”.

It took a moment for him to turn his gaze back to the girl.

“Hi there, Jason”, her voice came out soft and gentle this time, her smile impossibly sweet as she took his left hand in her own, letting the other run through his hair. “I realize in what pain you must be, but be in no fear; we’ll get through this together”.

Jason seemed to relax at that. He fixed his eye upon her face, still hazed, but certainly calmer, leaning a little bit more to her side as he gave a faint nod. “Hard to… breathe”, he managed to blurt out.

“I know”, she assented, “and I’m going to fix it. But to do that, you have to be sedated, so I’m going to use an injection. Do you understand me?”

Another small nod, accompanied with a blink. Jason was probably welcoming this, considering how much pain he was in at that moment. He stirred a bit, and Roy realized he was looking for him once more.

“I’m here”, he told him. “I won’t leave, buddy. Just relax, ok?”

He watched the movement of the needle as it pierced through Jason’s skin with the corner of his eye, and couldn’t help but grimace a little. Every single sight of those things never failed to remind him of dark, sickening times he desperately wanted to forget, as if they were merely bad dreams, nightmares that could never harm him.

Some things never stopped _hurting_.

“Can you count backwards for me, Jason?” her voice brought him back in the world. “Starting at ten”.

Jason did that, his voice gradually dying into a whisper, until it completely faded out at number four, as he once more drifted out of consciousness. She checked on him, making sure it had worked.

“Ok”, she took a breath as she picked up her long, brown hair in a high ponytail, using a hair tie she had around her wrist. “I need you to remove everything from the table, and we’ll put a sheet over it. We’ll have to move him there. I can’t operate like this”.

“Sure. Right on”, he said, letting his hand that was now resting on Jason’s forehead linger there a little longer before he got up to help her.

As he was moving things off the table and setting them aside, he felt a hand on his shoulder, gripping with encouraging tightness. “Hey…”

He glanced at her, at her clear face and bright eyes, taking comfort at her calm, steady, certain voice. “Everything is going to be fine. _Believe it_ ”.

It almost felt like a command. One that he desperately wanted to follow.

 

* * *

 

 

It took about an hour, eventually.

Apparently, it was one thing to be able to handle blood and injuries (and needles), and a whole lot different one to be present during surgery. He _did_ have to turn his head away at times, but he categorically refused to leave Jason’s side, even when the girl, noticing his discomfort at some point, suggested him to wait outside until she finished.

Everything seemed to be rather well now, and there weren’t many noticeable differences on his friend. Just some mild swelling, that could have just as well been due to his injuries. Jason’s breathing had already almost completely returned to normal, smooth and gentle and even. They had currently moved him back to the sofa-bed. They were able to improvise a little and make some accommodations so that his back was in a slightly suspended position, his head supported by three thick pillows. There was an IV hooked into the vein of his arm, connected to a steady drip of what was likely saline, maybe dextrose too. They’d found two sleeping bags in the wardrobe, and had unzipped one all the way to use it as a classic blanket. It now effectively covered Jason from the chest down.

Roy drew one breath in, hands cradling his own face. Now that the hardest part was finished, now that he knew Jason would only get better from that point -at least physically speaking-, exhaustion lashed on him, striking like a violent tidal wave. He hadn’t slept for more than twenty—four hours. He felt his entire body stiff and tight, his mind unable to process even the smallest of things. His limbs were insanely heavy.

“You need to get some sleep. And you look like you could use a shower as well”.

He watched, as she finished packing up her stuff. “Duly noted, doc”.

She gave him a smile from afar. She also seemed quite tired herself, a little pale too, though still sharp and focused. She checked on Jason one last time, the drip, his breathing, his pulse, his temperature, and she seemed satisfied.

“You’re leaving?” he asked. As discouraged as he was at the beginning, now he felt a lot more comfortable and safer with her presence around.

“I need to return those things in time, and to attend somewhere… and get some sleep, hopefully”, she sighed. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, probably sometime by the afternoon. I’ll get you some food as well”.

He just then realized how hungry he felt. He tried to ignore the protests of his stomach.

“I left all the supplies you might need on the table, as well as two bottles of mineral water”, she waved her head towards it. “I don’t expect anything to go wrong. However, check his temperature and breathing every four hours, just to be sure. In case he wakes up, don’t expect him to stay conscious for long. Don’t pressure him, don’t upset him. If he’s in pain, you can give him painkillers of the ones in the orange box, two if the pain’s too bad, but no more than that, and you ask him some simple questions: his name, your name, the country we live in, stuff like that. Don’t panic if he delays an answer, it’s normal, due to the concussion. If anything serious comes up, anything at all, bleeding, fever, a shock, you call me _immediately_. My number’s right there, I wrote it down”.

He just shamelessly stared as she let down her hair once more, tossing them around a bit to smooth them, a mane falling in beautiful waves on her shoulders and back. What was it about this movement? Roy was absolutely positive he wouldn’t find a single girl in the entire world that wouldn’t look absolutely stunning while doing that.

“Here”, she tossed a pack of pills at him. “To help you sleep better”.

“Oh, I… thanks, but I don’t take pills”.

_Anymore._

“They’re just mild sedatives, for the nerves. They simply help you relax. Nothing suspicious or dangerous. It’s safe”.

He rose on his feet, despite how they threatened to crumble of fatigue, and crossed the space between them to stand in front of her. She was taller than he first thought, he realized now, maybe a solid 5’7”. “Listen, I… I can’t find enough words to thank you, honestly. I don’t know what we would have done without you. And, look, I, uh, I’m sorry if I went a little snippy before, I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t worry about it”, she cut him off. “I understand. If something like that had happened to one of my friends, I’d probably be panicking, and you know… I’m a doctor… kind of”.

Judging of what he’d seen of her up until that point, that tremendous equanimity and calmness she showed facing the situation, he doubted that was true, but he appreciated this cute, awkward attempt of hers to make him feel better.

“Jeez… I… didn’t even ask your name”, he muttered embarrassed, letting out a small titter. “What an asshole, man…”

She laughed a little. “I’m Hope”, she smiled.

Hope, then. Fitting, in every single way. Just what both he and Jason needed. **_Especially_** Jason.

“I’m…”

“Oh, I know who you are”.

“How so?” he was taken aback.

“Well, for one, your friend called you by your name, and then… you do realize you’re still in your suit, right?” she raised an eyebrow.

He froze momentarily, his mind going blank as his gaze dropped down to his outfit. Hell. _Well done, Harper, you genius._ He’d been so preoccupied with Jason that it hadn’t even crossed his mind, even though he _did_ have his regular clothes in the freaking car.

“Well… if it’s any comfort, I’d figure sooner or later. Don’t forget who sent me”.

His eyes widened a tad. “You know about…”

“As a matter of fact, I do… but it’s a long story, and there’s no time right now. Dammit, it’s six already?” she huffed, hurrying to her backpack and her case. “Look, I’m so sorry, I need to bounce now… do you need anything else from outside?”

“No, no, go do your thing”. He had a thousand unanswered questions, about her and Ollie, about this place, about everything, but she was right. It wasn’t the time.

“Don’t leave him alone for too long, ok?” she shouted over her shoulder before she made her exit from the room.

He went back to Jason, tugging the cover a little better around him.

“Never”, he said.

 

*******

 

_He couldn’t pick himself up. He couldn’t._

_He just wanted some water, and the bathroom was closer than the kitchen. That’s all he knew. He couldn’t calculate how long he’d been crawling on the floor, trying to make it to the bathroom door. Could have been an eternity._

_His limbs feel all shackled down by steel chains. His head heavier than a rock. Back aching. Vision blurry, disoriented…_

_He had finally managed it there. Took some tremendous effort to rise on his knees, head resting against the door frame, breathing coming out loud and harsh, exhausted, as if he’d just run a marathon. Lumps burdening his lungs._

**_Everything_ ** _hurts, and he lets out a sob, as the sudden need to curl up to himself and just lie there and cry claims him demandingly._

_It **doesn't** feel good anymore. Not even a little bit. When had this stopped feeling good? It used to be a comfort in prison, before they got him out of there, but now… now…_

_He desperately wants Dinah, or Hal. He wants--_

_“Roy?! Jesus, are you…”?_

_The voice breaks through the haze, and he manages to look back, wishing he’s hallucinating._

_He’s not, though. That’s actually **Jason Todd** (Dick’s brother, he reminds himself, and good God, he doesn’t want Dick to know about this, that he’s at it again, he doesn’t---) right there, frozen behind him, staring down at him in shock and sheer disbelief, and Roy loathes himself._

_Jason wasn’t supposed to be there. He’d said he’d be on business in Gotham for at least two days, while Kori would also go on a brief visit to some of her old friends that were in need. It seemed that, besides everything else, he also happened to be insanely unlucky._

_Some way to find out about your potential future partner’s little… **habits**._

_He doesn’t have time to face him, or even feel more embarrassed than he already is. A sudden, bitter wave rushes from his stomach up to his throat, and he only has a few seconds to act. He throws himself forward, picking up the lid of the toilet, and vomits things he didn’t know he’d had inside him, though most of it is bile._

_It’s so violent it almost hurts, his throat feeling burning and sore. He lingers there, hands shaking, breath catching. He feels he’s choking at some point and he’s ready to collapse, but at that very moment, there are strong, gentle hands on him, one pushing back his hair, the other holding over his forehead, balancing him._

_“It’s alright, fella”, Jason’s voice sounds calm and soothing. “It’s ok. Let it all out”._

_And he does._

_He tries to bring a shivering hand up to his face to wipe his mouth, only to find a cloth already doing it for him. He lets his eyes close for a moment, hears the toilet flusher, and when he opens them again, he looks wearily at Jason, who’s standing over the sink, soaking a towel wet. He then kneels beside him and presses it over his face._

_Roy briefly shuts his eyes again. The tepid temperature feels reassuring and comforting on his clammy skin. Jason’s free hand comes on his shoulder, rubbing there on a tension spot that gets him to relax right away. He almost protests when it’s gone._

_“Come on”, he says, rising to his feet. “Let’s move you somewhere else, yes?”_

_He takes the hand that’s extended to him and tries to help by supporting himself as he slides an arm around his shoulders, but the result is laughable. Jason does the job, basically carrying him to his room and bed. He does feel him tense a little bit once they pass beside the used needle, spoon, lighter and strap over the small table by the couch, but, thankfully, Jason doesn’t comment on that._

_Once his shivering body is on the bed and under the covers, Jason leaves the room, briefly, only to return with a bucket and a glass of water._

_“Easy”, he says after he hungrily swallows some sips. “Not too much”._

_The glass is set on the bed stand, and he’s under the covers again, pulling them tightly around him. Jason drags a chair and sits by the bed. A few minutes later, when he no longer trembles and spasms like a fish out of water, Roy finds himself able to gather a few words._

_“Who?” he asks hoarsely._

_It’s a single word, but he can’t bring himself to say more, and it’s apparently fine, because Jason instantly understands. He couldn’t avoid the question. His calmness and patience during all of this, every single thing he did -everything right, everything smooth- indicated that he’d done this before for someone, definitely more than once._

_“My mom”, is the soft answer. “When I was little”._

_He feels a hand gripping what’s left of his insides. He looks at Jason’s face and thinks about all the things he already knows about him, from Dick, and from all around. He had anything **but** an easy life himself, but Jason’s… Jason’s was a pure tragedy._

_“I’m sorry”, he whispers, and he’s not sure whether he says that sympathetically or apologetically. It’s probably both._

_Jason studies him, a still expression on his face. “I was far too young back then to even think to ask her why. Why she did it. Why she **kept** doing it. Why was it so important to her. I mean, apart from the inevitably growing addiction. Why are **you** doing it?”_

_It’s a simple question, an honest and reasonable one, and yet, he finds himself unable to answer it. “Sometimes… the pain is too much”, is the only thing he manages to gasp._

_Jason shifts on his seat, leans towards him a little bit. “Do you want to quit it?”_

_“I never wanted anything else nearly as much”, he admits without hesitation._

_Jason gives a faint smile. “Then you will, Harper”._

_The way he says this… not a statement, not a warning, not a demand… a **promise**._

_He doesn’t have the strength to keep his eyes open anymore. “Don’t leave”, he pleads weakly._

_Jason’s hand squeezes his shoulder. “I won’t. I’ll stay here. Go ahead, get some sleep”._

_He notes to tell Dick, next time he sees him, how wrong all of them are in their judgements of Jason, before slips into the darkness._

 

**_***_ **

 

He locked the doors after she left, and he did take that shower she’d mentioned, the warm water threatening to melt away every last bit of his resistance to that sheer weariness crawling all over him. He changed into his normal clothes and checked one last time on Jason before he set the alarm on his cell to ring four hours later.

He thought about it for a while, and then swallowed one of the pills she’d given him. At this point, not trusting her, after everything she’d done that night, would be plain stupid.

He lied on the other couch, covering himself with another sleeping bag, as he tossed and turned to look at Jason’s still and quiet form, trying not to think about how they would deal with the rest of the scars, once he woke up for good. The ones that weren’t visible… the ones that he knew wouldn’t stop hurting.

_Hope._

He craved for the feeling, as his eyelids grew heavier and heavier.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Kiddo? You awake?”

Roy blinks, all curled up to himself, warm, and heavy, and comfortable. He doesn’t want to move one bit. The hand smoothing down his hair is nice addition to it.

“Five more minutes, Ollie” he yawns, his fist clenching tightly on the covers.

Wait… _Ollie_?!

His eyes snap open for good, and he sits up so abruptly that he sees black spots all around. Still, somewhere between them, his mentor’s face stands clear. He’s seated beside him, on the edge of the couch, faintly smiling.

“What… what are you doing here… what time… Jay!” he stutters shaken, eyes turning at his friend as he moves to toss the blanket away.

“Hey, hey! Easy there” Ollie stops him, placing a hand at the side of his neck. “Everything’s fine. He’s ok”.

“No, no, I was supposed to check on him, I thought I’d set the alarm…”

“You did, kid. It started ringing a minute after I got here. You just didn’t hear it, and I turned it off. You needed rest. But he’s alright. He’s still out. Take a breath first, and then you’ll check for yourself. Here”, he puts a bottle of water in his hands. “Drink”.

He does that, after some deep inhales. Only then does he realize how his heart is pounding.

“How… when did you even get here?”

“About three hours ago”, he answers, taking the bottle back from him and setting it on the floor. Roy notices a grimace at the movement, his other hand shifting like he’s about to grab at his left side. He doesn’t, though. “Brand-new jet, completely untraceable. You should see that babe”.

“You… you came all the way from Star…”

“Of course I did”, he smiles, running a hand through Roy’s hair. “You sounded awful. I had to see you”.

Roy briefly closes his eyes. Draws one more breath. “I’m sorry I had to drag you to this as well, but… I had to help him. I had to find a way”.

“You did the right thing”, Ollie’s putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re such a good friend. I’m so proud of you, kid. So proud”.

Warmth spreads on his chest at that, and, childish as it sounds, he can’t help himself. “I’m… I’m so glad to see you”.

Ollie’s grip tightens. It’s priceless to him, this feeling of comfort and protection he gets now that he’s here..

He lets the moment linger there for a while, and then gets up for good and approaches Jason. Everything looks exactly the same as about seven hours ago. The drip on the IV bag is steady, and his breathing perfectly fine. He places a hand on his forehead as he sits down beside him and is relieved to find out that he’s cool. No fever either.

“She had to pull an operation”, he murmurs. “He… his septum was messed up…”

He doesn’t turn when he hears Ollies footsteps. “But it went well, right? That’s all you need to think about”.

Roy closes his eyes and nods. He doesn’t want to start recalling all the freaking details right now. “She knows her shit pretty damn well… Hope, I mean”.

“Great girl, isn’t she?” he smiles.

“When I first saw her, I won’t lie, I was kind of put off… you know, considering how young she is…”

“Ah, don’t let her age fool you, she might be twenty-three, but she’s got some insane skills. Incredibly bright, too. She’s about to get her degree in a few months, I think. She’ll be one hell of a doctor. Went to university at seventeen, got a full scholarship by Martha Wayne Foundation”.

“She’s from Gotham?” he lifts an eyebrow.

“Nah, Albany. Moved to Gotham to study”.

“Where do you know her from?”

“She happened to be in Star just a couple of weeks ago, on a medical conference. Terrorist attack in their hotel”.

“Yeah, I remember hearing about it…”

“She helped a lot of people during that”.

Roy’s eyes wandered around. “And what about this place?”

“Like it?” Ollie smirked. “Mine. Bought the warehouse last year, and thought, good chance for a safehouse in the back. Seafaring might feel a little old fashioned to some idiots, but one would be crazy not to invest somewhat in it. Blüdhaven, as shitty as it is, still has one of the busiest ports in the States. Even busier than Gotham’s these days”.

Silence falls heavy for a while, as they both gaze at Jason. “Bats really did that?” Ollie asks then, grimly.

“How’d you know?”

“Figured. I told you, he called me last night, before you did. Sounded… frenzied. Unlike himself”.

Roy remembered quite vividly that there was a time he used to feel jealous of Dick’s relationship with Bruce, back when they were both in the Titans.

It was true that Batman was never the sentimental type, and hardly ever used actual words to express his feelings for the people important to him. Nevertheless, things were fairly obvious. Even if he said nothing, anyone could understand how much he loved Dick, how protective he was of him.

It was a small thing, most of the times, something that would go unnoticed to most. Roy, however, as a child that had been kicked out and abused by his mentor, resulting to cutting off every single bridge between them (and secretly craving for acceptance and fatherly love ever since), had always been able to see beyond the obvious in such things. He could read the way Batman always stood as close to Dick as possible within a battle, not because he didn’t trust his abilities, but to be ready at any moment to shelter him from any harm. A small touch or a grip of his shoulder. His voice always turning slightly warmer any time he addressed him, even when he was angry with everyone else. His patience and willingness to explain to him any situation.

He recalled of a time when Batman had forbidden Dick in particular to get involved in an extremely dangerous business of the Justice League. Dick had been furious about it. He’d been rumbling about how angry he was due to the ‘lack of trust’ Batman had for him, and Wally would agree, feeling the same thing about Barry. He’d stayed silent during all of this, defying the strong desire to knock their heads together, and then sit them both down and _explain_ to them what they didn’t understood. That their mentors just loved them. That they wanted to _protect_ them. Tell them how lucky they were for having them in their lives.

Even when he met Jason and found a special friend in him, despite his troubled relationship with Batman, he still believed that this guy was a parent anyone would ask for. Yes, they had their ups and downs -and it wasn’t always Bruce’s fault, Jason also overdid it at times, as he never hesitated to inform him-, but how could he forget all the times Bruce had stand to vouch for them, the Outlaws, when no one else would, just because Jason was with them? How many times he’d turned a blind eye and **_chosen_** not to be involved to some of their most controversial actions, just to give Jason another chance? How the man had screamed his son’s name when Joker framed him with that acid on his helmet? How he held him in his arms, how he refused to leave his side, how he took an entire night and day off while missions were running everywhere just to be by Jason’s bedside -something he hadn’t even done for Dick, to the best of his knowledge?

It was spine-chilling after all, how things had been reversed. Ollie and he were now closer than ever, to the point that, apparently, Ollie was willing to cross the entire country to get to see him, even though no harm had befallen directly upon him. And Jason lied on that bed, beaten and betrayed by that very man who once stood beside him while unconscious, waiting for him to open his eyes.

It… it didn’t make sense.

“He doesn’t deserve that”, he mutters. “Jay… he’s… he’s _good_ , Ollie. He really is. I know it doesn’t look like it most of the time, if one doesn’t know him that well, but it’s true. It’s just… he’s still a child inside, with everything that brings along”.

“I believe you. And he certainly doesn’t deserve that. I still find it hard to believe”.

“I was there”, he says blankly. “I saw it happening”.

“I didn’t mean I didn’t believe _you_ , Roy, just that…

“After he did this mess of him”, he cut him off, raising his voice a tad, “I watched him dragging by the remains of his helmet like he was taking out _trash_ , Ollie. Fucking… trash”.

Ollie tensed, clearly shaken by the description of such an image. “Don’t get defensive on me, Roy. Do you know me for a Bat-sucker? I’m the first ready to call him out for bullshit far less disturbing than this shit right here. Still, I cannot but note that this is freaking… weird. Odd, to say the least. He’s always been so… _protective_ of his boys”.

“Not of Jason, apparently”, he huffs, even knowing it wasn’t true.

Ollie gives him a sideways look. “ _Especially_ to him. When he was small, at least. You weren’t around them back then, kid, when he first got him. Even I could tell, and we were never close. You can’t imagine how…”

There’s a distant knock that makes them both turn to the door instantly, alarmed, but then Roy remembers. “Must be Hope”, he gets up and strides through the room. “She said she’d come by the afternoon”.

When he drags the front door open, she smiles. She still looks tired, but she has definitely freshened up a little, changed clothes too.

“How are we?” she asks as they walk back together.

“Everything looks pretty normal, I’d say”.

“Good. Here”, she passes him a big, full bag of what is clearly food. “Three different sandwiches, a cheeseburger, salad, a lemon pie, one or two chocolate bars, and orange juice, because what the hell, I’m still trying to be a doctor. I hope you hero-guys eat that short of stuff. It should be enough for now, the afternoon, and perhaps for tomorrow’s breakfast too”.

“You’re a lifesaver, love. Like, literally” he coaxes, making her smile, already unwrapping one sandwich while walking.

Once they set feet back in the room, her small yelp catches him off-guard for a second. “Mister Queen!”

“Hey, darling”, Ollie smirks at her. “And cut that ‘mister’ thing out”.

“What are you doing here! You should be resting for this week as well!”

“Well, technically - _technically_ \- only one day remains until the week ends, right?”

“Hey-hey”, Roy gulps a bite of the sandwich and looks back and forth to both of them. “Resting? Why resting…?” his gaze turns to Ollie, just to catch him giving Hope a ‘no-no’ look. “What’s going on, what happened? Are you hurt?”

“Yes, he is!” she protests. “He got _shot_!”

“What!” he shouts, eyes widening. “What the hell, man!”

Ollie sighs, hands on his hips. “So much for doctor’s/patient’s confidentiality, girl” he growls.

“Well, technically - _technically_ \- I’m not a doctor just yet”, she sneers.

“Hey! Speak up!” Roy demands now, both annoyed and worried.

Ollie huffs, rolling his eyes to the ceiling, and picks up his shirt. Roy gasps and flinches. Thick layers of bandage circle his lower torso, faintly stained with blood in one place.

“Dude!” he exclaims crossing the distance between them. “Are you _insane_? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Ok, don’t mind me, solve it while I’m checking on our boy here. Hey, handsome”, Hope says, checking Jason’s drip before she gets out her stethoscope and leans over him.

Ollie sits back on the couch and nods for Roy to join him, which he does, reluctantly. He just now notices the paleness on his face, the slowness and cautiousness of his movements. He recalls how he winced before, when he leaned to put the bottle on the floor, his hand almost shooting up to his side. He’d said earlier that Hope helped many people during the attack, but failed to mention that he had _also_ been one of those.

“It was in that hotel we were talking about, during the terrorist attack. I got two; one on the pelvis, another at the side. I didn’t tell you anything because you didn’t need to get worried. It hurt a lot, it’ll take some time to heal, but it’s not dangerous. Didn’t hit any vitals or damaged a bone beyond repair. Right, girl?” he asks for confirmation.

“This doesn’t mean it’s ok for you to cross the entire country, God knows why” she retorts while checking Jason’s pulse.

Roy knows why, and even though it moves him, and despite how grateful he is for everything and how glad he is to see him, he can’t but try some scolding. “You shouldn’t have come, man! You should be _resting_ …”

“I’m just fine” he reassures him. “No need to worry”.

He reluctantly chooses not to continue this conversation at that very moment.

“Well, everything is quite good, considering the situation”, Hope ends up soon after she’s checked thoroughly.

“When can he be moved?” Roy asks.

“Well… if you take all precautions -and I mean _all_ of them- I’d say any time you want, but… please, please, be extremely careful”, she pleads, gently stroking Jason’s hair. Roy thinks it’s very sweet that she seems to truly care that much. “Better do it now that he’s unconscious, though. He’ll be in a lot of pain when he wakes up. His ribs are badly wrecked, and his ankle will also be a difficulty. He can take painkillers, of the ones I’ve brought you -I’ve noted instructions, don’t worry. I'd recommend, after you settle wherever, inactivity and _rest_ ”, she points knowingly at Ollie, who chuckles.

“How long to full recovery?”

“Hard to tell. Ribs are tricky. I’d give it three months -at least”.

Roy shivered at that and tried to calm himself down by thinking about the Lazarus syndrome, and Kori's Tamaranean devices. These should be able to help to a faster recovery, maybe two full months.

“Ok, so… in what case should I be worried?”

“Ok, listen… let’s talk about the concussion for a while”, she takes a breath. “In general, expect him to sleep more than the usual. However; the first two, three times he comes to, do as I said last night; you ask him his name, your name, the country we live in, stuff like that, to check his functions. Don’t be alarmed if he delays an answer. **_Be_** alarmed, however, if he can’t answer at all. He… might as well have some difficulty remembering new information. If this lasts for more than three days, _also_ be alarmed. Now… I don’t expect memory loss, since he already seemed to be functional before the surgery, but… if you notice something like that, or in case of extreme pain or multiple sudden blackouts, you take him to a hospital right away, no matter what”.

“Got it. Got it. Any other physical symptoms?”

“Many. Fatigue and drained energy, headaches, blurry vision, sensitivity to noise and light, dizziness and balance problems… It can be some of them or all of them, at least for the two weeks. And, look… you have my number. If you need anything, anything at all, information or medical instructions or anything else I can help with, even if you think it’s something seemingly unimportant, call at literally any time, ok?”.

Roy smiled, heartwarmingly. “Thanks, girl”.

“Oh, and very light diet, for about ten days”, she indicates.

She gives some more instructions, before Ollie gets up and approaches, taking out a small envelope and extending his hand to her. “Good service results to good earnings, girl”.

She opens it with a baffled look on her face, and her eyes widen as soon as she looks inside. “Oh! Oh, my! Mister Queen, I…”

“Hush, dear” he winks at her. “You’ve earned this”.

Roy tries to swallow a small laugh, amused at her reaction. He wonders how much money Ollie had put in there to trigger that. He watches then, as her eyebrows knit, a very serious, cute look coming up her face, as she draws two fifties off the envelop.

“I’m keeping these, for the back and forth to Gotham, and the medicine”, she says, putting the envelope with the rest of its content on the table, “but hide the rest of it away”.

“Hope, get the damn envelope, now”, Ollie says strictly.

“No. I’m not taking money for this”.

“You helped those two, you saved _me_ back in Star City…”

“A pleasure, sir” she smiles, closing her medical case, “to do that for the people that always look out for the rest of us”.

Ollie protests a little, but Roy already knows it’s a lost case. He walks her to the door again, soon after.

“Again”, he tells her, gently taking her hand on his own, placing a small piece of paper in her palm, “I can’t find enough words to say thank you. All I can do right now is give you this -my number as well, and Jason’s. We both owe you -big time. If you’re ever in any kind of trouble, well… both of us can handle our shit pretty good, I dare say”.

She laughs and blushes. “My goodness. And I have to keep all of this a secret! Now, _that’s_ what I should be paid for”.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Are you absolutely sure this place you’re about to go is safe? And when I’m saying ‘absolutely’, I mean, like, one hundred and ten percent certain. If someone’s looking for you, it won’t be just anyone. it’ll be the damn _Batman_ ”.

Apparently, Ollie’s crisis of tenderness and protectiveness hadn’t ended solely at crossing the country to get to him.

They were currently inside the state-of-the-art model of jet Ollie had used to get there. Roy was beyond impressed by it; thrilled, to say the least.

He’d helped him pack up the stuff, and then move Jason in the car, and inside. His friend was now properly settled and strapped in an emergency stretcher on the back, and Ollie had just finished showing him the basics.

“I don’t expect him to find us there”, he shakes his head. “It’s a remote location. I think we’ll be fine”.

Even thinking about Kori’s island made him warm inside. Made him feel better. Safer. _Home_. It made him believe that everything would be alright.

Ollie approaches, inhales, puts his hands on his shoulders, gripping tightly, and locks his eyes with Roy’s, firmly. “I want you to promise me one thing” he says calmly. “If, by any chance, he _does_ find you… _don’t_ fight him, Roy. Don’t get in his way. Just… let him do what he’s there to do, and we’ll figure it out later, together”.

Roy huffs and looks away, gritting his teeth. “You know I can’t promise you this. You know I _won’t_ do this”.

“Roy…”

“If he tries to harm Jason again, in any possible way, he’ll find me in between. End of discussion”.

Ollie grimaces and sighs. Clearly, this was exactly what he was afraid of. “Why’d you have to be so freaking stubborn?”

“It’s a part of my charm”.

Ollie turns to look at his buzzing phone for a moment, and Roy’s awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Hey, I… I have something to ask from you”.

“Spit it out, kid”, he encourages him, slipping the phone back in his pocket.

Roy draws a deep breath. “You remember that place I talked about?”

“That Sanctuary thing?” he gets what he means at once. “Yeah, I remember. You regretted it? You don’t have to do this if you’re not sure you want to. I’ve actually done some research about it, and I can’t say I’m comfortable with the few things I’ve heard about the ‘healing’ methods used. It really doesn’t look right to me”.

“No, I’ve decided it, Ollie. But I’ll skip it, obviously, until Jason is fully up and functional again. The thing is… I don’t know how long my staying there will last. Considering I’ve just denied you a promise, that’s not really fair, but… what I want to ask is…”

“Jeez, kid, just say it already”.

“While I’m away, and I can’t be close to him… if, at some point, Jason is in danger, or needs help, I want you to be there for him”.

Ollie leans back a little, frowning, quite surprised at his words. Clearly hadn’t expected that. “Jesus, Roy, I… look, I know you two are close, and I respect that, but he and I never used to…”

“Ollie… please. He’s like a brother to me. _Please_ ”.

He stiffens for a moment, but soon after relaxes, and nods. “What the hell, kid. Fine. I promise”.

Roy feels a burden shifting off his shoulders. “Thank you. And I want you to promise something else too…”

“Ah, come one, kid…”

“… that you won’t be running around, for another week at least. That you’ll get some rest, until those bullet wounds completely heal”.

It’s a totally Green Arrow grin, the one he gets. “Now, _that_ I don’t promise at all”.                      

Roy doesn’t insist on it. He can only hope from now on.

“If you’re giving me the jet, how’re you getting back?”

Ollie chuckles. “What’d you mean how? Good, old, classic airlines, kid. Flying in three hours. First class. I’ll be like a king”.

“Megalomaniac douchebag”.

Before he even realizes it, Ollie suddenly pulls him into a hug, which he, after few seconds, welcomes. When Ollie decides to break it, he instead takes his face in his hands and presses his lips on his forehead.

“Be careful, yeah?”

“Always”.

Leaving had never felt more bittersweet before.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

During the first week, Jason torturously drags himself in and out of consciousness, barely able to focus on anything. Roy's freaking out so badly he's on the phone with Hope almost daily -this girl is pure treasure, and has a mountain of patience inside her.

At the second week, even though he still wouldn’t wake up for a substantial amount of time, he could at least answer the questions Hope had advised him to ask. It had required a gargantuan effort to keep a straight, normal face and not let his terror show the first couple of times, as he watched Jason struggling to find the answers for much longer than he should have. He felt pure panic at those moments, despite the fact that Hope had warned him about it. Even after he'd given them, seeing him exhausted and in obvious distress and pain right after, always ached him.

Worst of all was that confusion on his friend’s face at times. Jason also... forgot some things. He had to remind him at least twice where exactly they had been located. He was dreading of a time when he’d wake up and wouldn’t recognize him, but thankfully, no such thing happened.

After day ten, though Jason remained bedridden of course, and almost constantly under painkillers, the symptoms had started to withdraw, and he was able to stay awake for more decent periods of time. After day eleven, he was actively trying, under his pressure, to mouth something more than just soups and other fluids. At day fourteen, he was able to watch a movie with him. It was the same day when he'd been gone for a couple of hours to meet with Dick*. He was unnerved, frustrated and angry once he got back, but mentioned nothing to Jason -even though he was certain his friend felt something was off with him.

It was only at the beginning of the third week that Jason stood both able and willing to hold up an actual conversation.

During all this time, Jason was relatively quiet. He had asked some questions regarding what had happened after he first passed out and how they’d gotten there, but not much else. He’d just answer his questions, give a few smiles now and then when he tried to joke about something, but… that was it. This apparent lack of emotion worried him quite a lot, because he knew quite well how sensitive Jason actually was, and how he tended to build huge walls around him when something had hurt him deeply, not letting anyone inside until it was far too late for repair. He wanted to catch up this time, not allow this to happen.

Now, currently at day sixteen, Jason watches him returning to the room and joyfully throwing himself in an armchair next to the bed. “Aaaaand our laundry’s done. You alright? Need anything?”

Jason just looks at him for a few seconds. “I… vaguely remember a girl holding my hand… while I was in pain”, he says next. “Brown hair? I think. Did this happen, or was it a dream?”

Roy instantly shits up, smiling delighted that at least his functions seem to have returned. “Not a dream at all, Jaybird. Brown hair indeed, sweet, bright smile, great front, decent back. The name’s Hope -I even got a phone number for us, I might add. You’d like her. She’s the one that got you fixed. It’s probably vague in your mind because you weren’t fully awake at that time”.

He processes it, and then nods. Roy barely holds back a sorrowful little smile. Had Jason been a little better, or if _he_ wasn’t that worried about him, there would definitely be some good lines around from one of them -or both of them.

Jason takes a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes. “I’m sorry I got you in such trouble, Roy”.

He feels as if someone emptied a bucket of icy water against his spine. He slowly gets up and sits on the bed, next to his lying form, placing his hands on each side of him. “Well, you certainly think very high of yourself”, he says, more gently than humorously. “Might I remind you that **_I_** stepped in on that rooftop? It wasn’t like you made me”.

“You did it to protect--”

“And don’t you dare say that ever again”, he adds, squeezing his hand. “What the hell, Jay? If it was me that got hurt like that, would you just leave me be?”

Jason’s gaze is up on the ceiling now. “Like you wouldn’t have anything better to do than sitting here, waiting for me to finally be able to get myself up and walk to the bathroom on my own”.

Roy wants to tell him that, well, on one side, sad as it was, he _truly_ didn’t have anything better to do. That just a few days before Jason called, he’d woken up again in an unfamiliar place, regretful, and sore, and lost… and _empty_.

Instead, he raises an eyebrow. “You’re kidding, right? Hey, remind me again, how many days and nights you spent sat by my bedside, taking care of me while I was in withdrawal?”

He sees one of his hands clenching on the sheets, but no answer comes. That was Jason. He’d give you everything he had, asking for nothing for himself, even when he desperately craved for it.

“Look at me, Jay”, he urges softly.

He does, and Roy leans over him a little. _I love you, you idiot,_ he wants to say, but holds his tongue. “This isn’t trouble for me, like I know it wasn’t for you back then. I _want_ to do this. So cut those bullshit apologies and stop trying to find even more things to burden yourself with”.

He looks hesitant for a moment, like he’s afraid that speaking the name of the demon will somehow make him appear to the doorstep. “I don’t want you in the middle in case…”

“Jay. Nobody knows we’re here. I didn’t even tell Ollie. _He_ won’t show. Trust me”.

An awkward silence rules the place while he returns to the chair, processing something quite risky in his head. This was the first time they had, even obliquely, referred to Batman. A bell rings. Looks like a good chance to finally address the events of that night, and Jason’s feelings about it, but… he’s not certain what exactly is the right way to approach this. He doesn’t even know if there _is_ a right way to talk about those things.

He chooses to follow instinct. It had never failed him, when it had to do with people he cared about.

“When I was fifteen”, he begins talking, even though Jason still doesn’t look at him, “Ollie left for a time, along with Hal Jordan, traipsing across the country. He was gone for a year, and I, well… fifteen, and with no supervisors whatsoever, and with access to more money than I could spend in nine lifetimes. It didn’t take long for me to fall of the wagon. Just a few old friends from the street, a few parties… and that was how all that shit started, basically”.

Jason shifted a little, wincing at the obvious pain on his ribs, and he knew he had his attention. Jason, actually, didn’t know about this stuff. He had never talked about it in detail, and, thankfully, Jay had never pressured him into it. All he knew was that his addictions started at adolescence, soon after he left home. That was all he’d told him.

“Once he got back, after an entire fucking year… I can’t remember the exact day, but I know it was afternoon, because there was still some sunlight outside, but I had to turn on the light nonetheless to… to hit it. You know. And just before the needle went in… he just… opened the door and got inside. After a year. I was already half stoned, I’d smoked some weed before too, so, it took some moments for me to realize he was actually there, comprehend the look on his face… right before the back of his hand hit my face and the world turned upside down in every way possible”.

Jason shot him a stunned look, his jaw dropping a little.

“A-ha. Yep”, he laughed nervously, looking down. “I was very shocked… very _scared_ … he was furious, screaming a thousand things, and… you know me, I talked back to him -surprise, surprise. Earned me another slap. And then -I saw it- he was shocked at himself, yet still so angry at me. He yelled ‘get out’… and I did. And never went back. Now that I think about it after all this time… I’m not even sure he meant to get out of the house. I… kinda think he just didn’t want to look at me at that very moment”.

“Where did you go?” he asked hoarsely.

“Good old streets, until Hal found me, picked me up and took me to Dinah. It was her that got me out of it that first time. Look, what I basically mean to say, is… I get you feel. And whenever you’re ready… you can talk to me”.

“It’s not the same thing, Roy”, he whispers.

Jason was right. He knew it. Even though abuse is always abuse, the situations were quite different. Batman had beaten his child bloody and senseless, to the point that he had to be _rescued_ from his hands, and he did that with no apparent, stable reason as to _why_. It was Bruce Wayne that had done that. A supposedly smart, patient, reasonable person, and a good father. An almost middle-aged adult with already grown up kids that should have known so, so much better.

“How did you find it in your heart to forgive him?”

Jason’s question catches him off guard, but he still answers honestly. “There were times that I thought I never would, no matter what. It wasn’t the slap that had hurt me -no. Clearly it was wrong of him, but it was an enraged, shocked-caused reaction to the sudden horror he came back to face. But his irresponsibility… his neglect… that was what I couldn’t bear. The thought that… he didn’t actually love me. That he didn’t actually care”.

This must be hitting a sore spot, since he sees a sudden, pained flash in Jason’s eyes, but nevertheless, he keeps going. “He regretted it, Jay. Ever since the first moment, I think. But back then, well… think of it this way. I was fifteen. He was twenty-seven. Twenty-seven, Jay. How many people of that age know how to be good parents to a heavily troubled teen with such a severe problem? Not many. He _didn’t_ know how to handle it. He had no clue. He felt as lost as I did. And proud and irresponsible as he was, he couldn’t see his own, vast responsibility and fault. I’m not making excuses for him, don’t think that. But I can understand how things were”.

He was surprised at how calmly he was able to talk about those things. He supposed it was due to Jason being there with him. He wouldn’t dare to speak in such length and emotion to Dick, for example. Not because he didn’t trust him, but because he felt he wouldn’t _understand_. He’d certainly try, but, eventually, he wouldn’t. He was so goddamn perfect. Always so loved by everyone around him. Never neglected. How could he ever put himself in his shoes? Jason always, from the very first moment they’d met, felt closer. More relatable, more _human_. Maybe that’s one of the things that had drawn them together and helped into creating a connection so much deeper between them than with him and Dick.

“Then he grew older. Grew up, same as most people do sooner or later. Saw things. Learned things. Lived things. _Lost_ things. When, after years, he sought me out and found me, and talked about it once more… he _wasn’t_ the same man. Situations made him see things differently. I have never witnessed a man more ashamed of himself than him at that very moment. How could I not forgive him? He wanted me in his life. Not out of obligation, but out of _love_. He had _deeply_ regretted it. He apologized, and he meant it, through his heart”.

“Bruce won’t”, Jason says blankly, voice shaking a little.

The pain hits him hard at those words, as Jason then turns his face in against the pillow, not wanting to face him. Probably some tears, he thinks.

He wants to tell him that he doubts that. That it’s actually fairly possible that Bruce _will_ regret this -if he hasn’t already. But in case this doesn’t happen… well, he doesn’t want to give Jason false hopes either. He wouldn't push him back into an unhealthy relationship.

He takes his hand and squeezes it.

“No matter what, buddy… you’ll always have me”, he says with a sad smile. “I know it’s probably not much, but…”

Jason cuts him off by squeezing his hand back, very tightly, like he never wants to let go. "It's everything".

Friendship is a blessed thing, he thinks, as they stay like that, in a comfortable, natural, powerful silence.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_**Two months later** _

_**Separating Ways...** _

 

“I’ll see you soon, Jaybird”.

“Count on it, buddy. Godspeed, Roy”.

He watches as Jay leaves, and then sets his eyes at the horizon opening in front of him for a while, before he takes out his phone and calls a certain number. Waits until he can leave a message.

“Hey, Princess. Your favorite redhead here”, he jokes, smiling at the thought of her own smile once she’d receive that message. “You’ve been away for a while now, and since we don’t have a clue of when you’re coming back… Just letting you know I’ll be away from the world for a while too. I’m trying something new that will hopefully help with my… you know. Anyway, this is about Jay, really. He’s been through some very bad stuff lately. I’ve been around, of course, and now he’s back on his feet. He knows I’m always there for him, but… he needs more. He needs to feel loved, accepted, included. He says he’s well, but… he _isn’t_ , Kori. You know how our Jaybird is. Keeping it all inside until he breaks. I don’t want… I can’t think of him like this, reaching this point. I won’t last a day in there, knowing Jay feels alone”.

He rubs his forehead. Even the thought of it brings despair, and he just wants to turn the car around, call him back, get him in it, and go on for another adventure.

“As I said, I don’t know when you’re returning, but whenever this is… I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see you. I know you care about him as much as I do. So please, when you get that cute ass of yours back here… go find him as soon as possible, m’kay? That’s it. I’m Roy Harper and I approve this message”.

He thinks about it for a while, but he doesn’t really have anything else to say.

“Kisses everywhere, Princess. Love you very much".

He hangs up and takes a breath. Starts the car again and turns the radio on. He’s humming the rhythm of the song as he drives away: Smoke on the Water.

This’ll be ok, he thinks, a calm smile rising on his lips. Everything will be fine.

The show _will_ go on.

 

 

 

* * *

 

*see 'Scars That Never Heal'

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been both a set up for a few future details, and a farewell to a beloved character of mine. Yeah, I know, in the comics everyone comes back sooner or later, but still, Roy's death saddened me deeply. Love you, archer!
> 
> We'll be returing in the present, and the Bats, in the very next part. ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you've enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: [Lady Paper Writerson's Tumblr](https://ladypaperwriterson.tumblr.com/)


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